How much is too much ...

Often we are letting ourselves carried by the waves of our lives, carelessly and passively observing the world, or we busy our lives so much that we risk isolating ourselves from those to whom we are dear. Deciding to either let ourselves carried away uncontrollably in the game of life or pushing own thirst for self improvement to the limits can frequently have disastrous consequences.

Yet, seldom we pull back from our daily lives and evaluate our actions and reactions relating to other people. Little we realize that we and our friends affect each other in ways that we can't even imagine. We can become the world to some and others can become our world. The missmatch between the singular and plural was intentional.

Day in, day out, we meet scores of people, each one bringing along a rainbow of attributes, good and bad, and anywhere in between. More we know these people, more we credit them with merit badges of "desirable as a friend". More people fall in the background, more we discredit them with badges of "questionable friend". We tend to evaluate our friends according to our needs. To accomplish our goal, we either come up with a ridged set of rules of what a friend should be, or conveniently copy from others the trend of discarding the second and third best friends in favor of the one we perceive as first. Even more often, we impose our decisions on to others, demanding to be ourselves raised in their eyes and souls as their "bestest" friend.

All is well in a friendship as long as no obstacles are encountered. We become comfortable in the relationship taking for granted each other and days or weeks pass till we bring into the relationship something new, something romantic, something useful. Yet, God forgive our friends show weaknesses, we quickly remove them from the pedestals we sat them on. And than, a rainstorm of attributes are hurryingly attached to the person and often our frustration is communicated in rude and derogatory words. Suddenly we feel threatened by the loss of our friendship, the only one we strived to maintain, finding ourselves alone and feeling unloved and worthless.

One would argue that selfishness is a good thing, necessary for survival. Is it ?
Another would argue that friendships must be left alone, to grow or die at it's own pace. Should it be?
Yet another would argue that friendships should be built from the ground up, with patience, joy, and if necessary, with lots of sweat.

What do you think :

- Do we put ourselves in the skins of our friends, trying to feel what they feel ?
- Do we choose our words carefully or we succumb to the rush of digging into the hidden vocabulary of forbidden words ?
- Do we choose our words too carefully, willing to draw a better picture of ourselves?
- Do we take the time to define what we really need and how a friend fits in our scheme of things ?
- Do we commit ourselves to a relationship or we play by ear, hoping for the best ?
- Do we know what we want from our friends ?
- Do we know what our friends want from us ?
- Do we know what we have to offer ?
- Do we fit in their time tables ?